in which Natalie turns XXXI.

and Ana comes along to start this baby in STYLE:

that’s right. My name is Sanjiro Jones. come with me now as we start the fourteenth PORTMANIA!! i remember the FIRST PORTMANIA. i was 22 years old. AND YOU WERE ALL BABIES. and now i’m an old man. and you are STILL BABIES!! WHAT THE?!


WHAT IS IT?!! it’s a celebration of the BIRTH of NATALIE PORTMAN who will be 31 this Saturday. but it’s also a celebration of everything NATALIE PORTMAN. and so that includes water bottles and fake cigarettes and dogs and babies.

Last PORTMANIA Natalie gave birth to her son who she named ALF.

i might have that wrong.

but anyway this is day one. and for the next five days i will celebrate her birth and the baby and all that crap. and how i will do this is by reviewing her last five movies.

and you too can review each movie everyday! we can discuss it in the comments! and post pictures! it’ll be a natalie movie club or something. maybe we’ll even have TRIVIA. which i’ll probably have to make up. IT WILL BE A PORTMANIA TO IMMEDIATELY FORGET.

AND SO PORTMANA DAY ONE will come to an early end. BUT FEAR NOT. PORTMANIA CONTINUES ALL WEEK. i hope you all can participate and have a good time. and if you don’t i’ll jump in a river!! MY GOD. Tomorrow: THOR.

Have a nice cold PORTMANIA! on ME.