site news: saturday’s update was translated into spanish. do not trifle with robotinez, his robotical powers are limitless. the language boo-boo is being remedied right now but for those of you dying to know what robotinez was saying over the weekend: “natalie’s dad has wery wery bad posture.”

not that any of you were able to read the site over the weekend any way. apologizes for the inconvenience… but we do not regret it, you freeloading sons of bitches! DONATE SOME CASH AND KEEP HAL AFLOAT.

Natalie-centric news:

If HAL had been up this weekend, we could have relayed Steven’s choice info about Natalie withdrawing from her Vanity Fair party duties with Chloe Sevigny. the biggest of ups to her for sandy koufax-ing it. Chloe’s new co-host of the event was “the very pimp-grand” Mya.

Kathleen sent us a link for the Cold Mountain trailer. I haven’t watched it but a birdy described it as “crappy.” i assume he meant crappy quality. the official release date of the trailer is supposed to be Thursday. but you don’t have to worry, preciouses… Natalie’s not in it. 🙁 gives us another behind-the-scenes look at Episode II.

aaaand, Delilah brought this blurb to our attention (from US Weekly VIP scene column):

“A solo Natalie Portman browsing the ABC Carpet & Home furniture store a few days after dancing with Denzel Washington at model Amy Wesson’s birthday party at Hue in New York City.”

i want more on this story. “solo Natalie Portman”, “furniture store”, “dancing”, “Amy Wesson”: it reads like a JK Rowling cuecard for the book of my dreams.

in not-quite-natalie news:

robtheskill reads alizee fanfic. laff. why, rob, why? the only thing worse than a fanfic reader is a fanfic writer…. but then i’ve written fanfic about the NPMB… 😐 apparently this one mentions Natalie. click at your own peril.

Melody noticed a little Natbit from Empire’s review of Matchstick Men.

since steve was the only one to e-mail me anything (i got the rest of today’s update from DAZZA!), i’m gonna plug his (former) ska band, the BPs. THEY ARE THE BEST SKA BAND NAMED THE BPs (this may not be true). one of their songs mentions Padme… i tried to listen for it but i have a really short attention span. you’ll just have to take steve’s word for it. GOD BLESS YOU STEVE.

and (grudgingly), here’s a link to Jewsweek’s profile on the loverly Liane Balaban. “The Next Natalie Portman”, my ass. “THE ONLY LIANE BALABAN” IS MORE LIKE IT. DAZZA wants you all to see New Waterford Girl now so you can rave over her Nat-alike-ness. I don’t (unless you want to rave over Liane’s Liane-ness.) Liane has her own look and any discerning viewer can tell that Liane is the greatest Liane evar, not Natalie 2.0 *cough-keira knightley-cough*. /me nods sagely at alex and bob.

liane liane liane.