It can’t get any worse, folks.

PORTMANIA 13 starts today! right now. this MINUTE. and it’s already been a whole year since last PORTMANIA. we called it 12. what happened last time? i don’t remember. it’s probably better that way. but what’s happened since is Natalie getting pregnant and then getting engaged. and then winning an oscar. and then a pulitzer prize for PUNCHING. ONE OF THOSE IS MADE UP!

we’ll get started with this PORTMANIA in a few moments with you clicking a MORE button. and there will be more. fair warning. if you do not wish to click the more button I can hardly blame you…

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CelebTV and US Weekly are trying to stoke the fires of a new celebrity feud. It turns out that Natalie felt she was too tired after the Oscars to do…