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The Rise of PORTMANIA!

HELLO Again, Friends! It’s early June and that means Natalie’s birthday and that means PORTMANIA!! 2020! SUMMER! Nice Days! PORTMANIA! and yes, it might be the end of the world.


It’s true, thing’s seem to be going to hell. But it’s PORTMANIA Dammit! Let’s fake smile and get through this TOGETHER!

That’s the spirit! NatDogs are Always welcome at PORTMANIA!

and about the end of the world… We’re working on that. We at have a team of crack specialists, the SPECIALIST of SPECIALISTS, with state of the art equipment, the STATIEST of States!! working around the clock to figure out the solution to all our current problems not just here in the USA, but also other countries of great importance all around the world, none of the names of which come immediately to mind.

Denmark! That’s a country, right? Anyway, is working on it so you can all relax and enjoy the NEW PORTMANIA 22!!!

So, what have you guys been up to? I’ve had a lot of time, all of which i’ve neglected to use to prepare for PORTMANIA and now here we are.

We could do a NatalieFACT!

NATALIEFACT! (WARNING NatalieFacts are highly contagious. Maintain six feet distance at all times and wash hands thoroughly after use) Natalie was discovered at the age of 9 in a PIZZA shop eating PIZZA. An agent saw her and said “That’s the best pizza eating I’ve ever seen!” and then said to Natalie “Have you ever thought of eating pizza PROFESSIONALLY?” Natalie replied “But, of course. Anyone who has tasted a pizza in life has dreamed of one day doing so professionally. Alas, such a thing is not possible. Such is life…” The guy told her to shut up. “Here’s my card. Become a movie star!” AND SHE DID!!

THIS IS JUST THE START OF PORTMANIA! We will have the world saved by Tuesday, Don’t worry! We’ll all be dancing and singing PORTMAN songs and eating PORTMAN pizza with Cows and Dogs and Chickens, YO! See you TOMORROW for DAY 2!