If at first you don’t succeed…. try 27 more times!
It’s that time of year again, folks! Natalie Portman’s birthday! And we’re here to celebrate it with…
PORTMANIA 28!!
We’ve heard all of your wishes and pleas, but we’re doing it anyway!
And we’re gonna get it right this time!
This Tuesday, June 9th, is Natalie’s birthday! That gives us Five days of fun and games and Natalie Portmanisms!
It’s time to get things started…
Natalie turns 45!
Other prefect things that turn 45 this year:
Raiders of the Lost Ark!
You can’t get much better than that. Unless Natalie were in it!!
DID YOU KNOW? George Lucas wanted Natalie to play Indiana Jones’ daughter in the 4th movie, but Steven Spielberg thought that was too close to Ian Malcolm having a daughter in the 2nd Jurassic Park. So they went with Shia LaBeouf instead 😪
Well, that’s what I heard.
It’s also the 30th anniversary of Beautiful Girls!
AND Mars Attacks!!
AND Everyone Says I Love You!
AND Natalie’s pregnant!
There’s a lot going on this PORTMANIA.
And we’ll try to keep up!!
BUT RIGHT NOW let’s slow it down. How many PORTMANIA participates have gotten so excited on the first day of PORTMANIA that they burst into flames? 48! Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it… no wait that is a lot… and it’s still weird. Here’s some tips on how not to BURST INTO FLAMES:
- DO NOT douse yourself with gasoline and start a barbecue.
- DO NOT watch Natalie Portman movies while sitting next to a flame thrower.
- DO NOT jump into a furnace wearing your PORTMANIA hat.
- DO keep a fire extinguisher next to you at ALL TIMES. AND…
- DO stay cool and hydrated just like our friend NATALIE PORTMAN.
If we can follow these rules, I think we can have a safe and wonderful PORTMANIA for everyone!
We’ll end Day One here. But there’s still four days left! So sit back, relax, drink a Coke Zero, DON’T burst into flames and enjoy the 28th PORTMANIA!! It’s easy if you try! PLEASE!!
It all comes back to PORTMANIA.
