Vox Lux: TIFF Review

By | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Vox Lux screencapture

I was lucky enough to attend the two Natalie screenings that took part at the Toronto International Film Festival, and am going to give thorough spoiler free reviews. Keep in mind that I will still be describing these two films (The Death and Life of John F. Donovan, and Vox Lux), so these reviews might be a little bit spoiler heavy, despite the strict intention of not giving away specific plot details.

Without further adieu, here is a review of the surprise hit Vox Lux by Brady Corbet.

Read More

The Death and Life of John F. Donovan: TIFF Review

By | Uncategorized | No Comments

The Death and Life of John F Donovan screencapture

I was lucky enough to attend the two Natalie screenings that took part at the Toronto International Film Festival, and am going to give thorough spoiler free reviews. Keep in mind that I will still be describing these two films (The Death and Life of John F. Donovan, and Vox Lux), so these reviews might be a little bit spoiler heavy, despite the strict intention of not giving away specific plot details.

Without further adieu, here is a review of the long anticipated Xavier Dolan film The Death and Life of John F. Donovan.
Read More

Tidbits

By | Uncategorized

In the absence of set photos of Noah Hawley’s film, we have a couple of tidbits to finish the week…

-E.K. Johnston (author of ‘Ahsoka’) is writing a new Padme novel called Queen’s Shadow, and this is the (great) cover, unveiled at the San Diego Comic Con:

More after the jump:

Read More

Pale Blue Dot Updates

By | Uncategorized

Natalie Portman’s next film, which should start filming any day now, is Pale Blue Dot from director Noah Hawley (Fargo TV series).

Well, it seems Pale Blue Dot was a placeholder title for the psychological drama about a returning female astronaut. What will the film actually be called? Your guess is as good as mine but we’re going to keep calling it Pale Blue Dot until a new title emerges.

Colman

In casting news, it has just been announced that Colman Domingo (Fear the Walking Dead) and Jeremiah Birkett (LA Confidential) join Natalie, Jon Hamm, Zazie Beetz and Dan Stevens.

PORTMANIA FIRST

By | Uncategorized

Day 5 of PORTMANIA 20 is HERE! It’s 6981!! AND IT’S TIME TO CELEBRATE!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATALIE PORTMAN!!

So Here is a Birthday video!!

We’re pretty sure we got all the facts right on that. ALTERNATIVE FACTS!!

It was 3 seconds ago when Natalie was 37 that she STOOD by a chair

and she thought “I’ve sat on enough rocks! It’s time to STAND! Yes. Everything in the world is happy and good for a second.” THIS SECOND.

and we just missed it!

TIME’S UP.

We love PORTMANIA! We put our hearts and souls into it. or bone marrow and gallbladders? one of those vital bodily systems we can’t live without!! and now it’s over for another year! but we can KEEP PORTMANIA with us, all through the year. by spreading PEACE AND LOVE. by Registering our feelings and using our Voice. Next time a guy cuts you off in traffic yell “HAPPY PORTMANIA A-HOLE!!” He’ll stop and think and maybe pay more attention to his driving! Change is coming friends. GENERATION PORTMANIA!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATALIE, her mom, her son, johnny depp, AND EVERYONE WITH GALLBLADDERS. and the people that have had to remove their gallbladders: YOU STILL BELONG! sure, we’re not going to invite you to the gallbladder convention this year, but that’s understandable, right? you don’t have a gallbladder anymore, man!

That’s it for the week folks! hope you had a good time and hugged a few trees

Thanks to DAZZA for having me back, Thanks to you for reading, Thanks to Natalie for being born.

All we are saying is…

Give PORTMANIA A CHANCE!

PREMIUM PORTMANIA!

By | Uncategorized

What’s up PORTMANIANS! It’s Day 4 of our preposterous, absurd, bizarre, crazy, fanciful, fantastic (also fantastical), foolish, insane, nonsensical, unreal, wild Journey to Natalie’s Birthday.

It was 23 years ago when Natalie was 14 and she sat on a rock to forget about life for awhile.

Not much is happening this PORTMANIA but that’s okay, because PORTMANIA is about punching your mailman in the face!!!

NO I’M WRONG DON’T DO THAT!!

and now it’s time to shine a spotlight on the most reliable go to every PORTMANIA…

Nat Dogs!

There have been three Nat Dogs that we know of

Noodles

Charlie

Whiz

and there was also this Unnamed Dog

NOT COOL DOG!

Tomorrow is of COURSE The DAY we’ve been waiting for and all this comes to an end! Natalie will be officially one year older than last year. But if you think about it that happens every day. I’m officially one year older than i was last year on this day. So we should celebrate every day as an anniversary of last year!!! I’m going to go eat some toast!

PORTMANIA IS WHY!

PORTMANIA GOES BANANAS

By | Uncategorized

PORTMANIA 20 Day 3 is here and fabulous is a word to describe it!

On this PORTMANIAN Day we’ll educate and celebrate!!

A lot of questions pouring in asking “What Is PORTMANIA?” That’s a hard question to answer. But we can tell you what PORTMANIA is NOT! And so DAZZA made a video to help explain our position to YOU…

NOW WE know

also questions pouring in about how to get Grass stains out of blue jeans. I don’t know. You need to google it.

It was 13 years ago when Natalie was 24 that she got a scooter and rode around town. She then turned it into a bag of some sort she could carry around. It was a marvel and everyone loved it. Then she grew out of her scooter phase and started drinking Snapple a lot.

Wait. now that i look at it, I don’t think that’s Natalie Portman. …Is it? um. was this Story UNTRUE!??!??

Moving on, let’s look at NATALIE ACTION FIGURES! It’s something to do at least…

WELL? Anything else to do on this PORTMANIA?! No.

TOMORROW will continue with PORTMANIA Day 4! will we survive til then?! Hopefully!!!

PORTMANIA THRIVES ON

It’s a PORTMANIA thing

By | Uncategorized

Parents just don’t understand!

PORTMANIA Day 2 is HERE. We’ve now had 20 PORTMANIA Day 2s!

Today’s Day 2 is going to be about NEVER DOUBTING YOURSELF!

NEVER DOUBT! unless you doubt you could survive jumping in front of a train. you should probably doubt that. and other stuff too. Maybe Doubting is GOOD!

New Lesson of the day: DOUBT YOURSELF SOMETIMES. But Not Always! You’ll figure it out!

Now let’s go back to the PORTMANIA PAST!

It was 16 years ago when Natalie was 21 and she looked around at the world and decided “I want 26 hamsters RIGHT NOW!”

not sure what was going on in her life right then, but she knew what she wanted.

“But Natalie!” Her friends yelled, “You can’t possibly take care of 26 hamsters right now!”

Natalie thought about this and agreed. “Fine. Then I want to wear MITTENS on my FEET!”

and she did.

The point of the story is i have no point to the story. and mittens are not practical footwear. and that’s why someone made THESE:

Now THAT is a good PORTMANIA gift! This is the best DAY 2 EVER!

There’s other stories i could tell, too. Like 12 years ago when Natalie was 25 and she drank a glass of water!

That’s a good one. She drank the whole thing!

That’s it for DAY 2! TOMORROW will be, if numerology is at all to be trusted, DAY 3! DON’T BE LATE!

Another PORTMANIA!

A PORTMANIA FOR EVERYONE

By | Uncategorized

It’s the second week of JUNE:

In case you don’t know, this is PORTMANIA.

It was 20 years ago that Natalie Portman was 17. She looked around at the world and said “This could be better. Why don’t we have a celebration of everything great in the world and it could be all about ME!!”

Lauren Holly loved the idea.

Luckily we had our Naked Spy there and we were able to steal it for ourselves. We would take a week in June to honor the actress we like. It would end every year on her birthday. and we called it PORTMANIA. It took us a few tries to get it right, this is the 20th time. We’ve really worked out the kinks. THIS TIME we got it right. THIS TIME no one needs to dress up as a cow, unless, of course, they want to. No one will be forced to do anything.

I’m sorry about that, DAZZA.

PORTMANIA 20 a 5 Day Celebration of Natalie starts now. Hopefully this is not confused with Chi-Chi’s Celebration of Food. We can almost guarantee that this week will not end with an outbreak of hepatitis A.

As everyone knows Natalie is Vegan. So to get things started on the first day here is an article about how to make Natalie’s favorite Vegan Foods! Now we can eat for a week without harming animals! THIS IS PORTMANIA!

Tomorrow PORTMANIA continues with DAY 2! DON’T MISS IT!

(Post Script to that earlier story: the NP.Com Naked Spy and Lauren Holly fell in love and married in 2003)

PORTMANIA LOVE!

Boston Calling 2018

By | Uncategorized

 
Last year, Natalie was unable to attend the Boston Calling Festival, where she was going to present a “cinematographic experience” curated by her. Well, it looks like she is going to be in the Boston Calling next May, serving as a host and curator for a “series of special programming” at the fest. More info on the Festival page:

PORTMANIA is painless

By | Site-news, Uncategorized

DAY Three of PORTMANIA!

Let’s do the Charlie Awards first!

The first Category for today is Best Wallpaper and the winner is from Celina!

EXTRAORDINARY, Celina! you must be a professional! AND you can schedule for last December!

the next category is for the BEST DRAWING and it’s a big win for Andrew and his drawing…

EXCELLENT, Andrew! You must be an artist!

and that’s the only two for today! More Tomorrow of course!!!

now let’s talk about a common problem among people of the world currently…

So you really want to PORTMANIA but your dad says “No.” what should you do?

HOW TO CONVINCE YOUR DAD TO PORTMANIA

Step 1: show him Natalie Portman Movies. There’s like 30 of them. Start with The Professional. This will help him realize that she is the BEST ACTRESS EVER.

Step 2: Show him the various Natalie Portman interviews from the many years of her being a celebrity. This will help him realize that she is the BEST PERSON EVER!!

Step 3: Sing him a PORTMANIA song. you can do this by making one up or by singing one of the many official PORTMANIA songs. there are no official PORTMANIA SONGS.

Step 4: Put a cow in his bathroom. This will show him that all animals are equals and they have a right to be everywhere you as a human being are allowed.

Step 5: Show him NataliePortman.Com This will show him many people agree with your philosophies and he’s an idiot for not agreeing.

Step 6: Remove the cow from the bathroom. You’re dad is going to be really upset with this. and he has a right to be. i was way off on the “cows are human beings” thing.

Follow these simple steps and your Father will lose all respect for you! that’s what we were going for right?

now we can all get on with our days. let’s make this a good day by smiling and laughing at everyone you see! pointing is encouraged. Tomorrow will be the final FOUR categories of the Charlie Awards and NATALIE’S 36TH BIRTHDAY. let’s prepare for something amazing!!

PORTMANIA is the one that you want!!

PORTMANIA is better than you!

By | Site-news, Uncategorized

It’s PORTMANIA 19 in 2017 that takes over 4 days when Natalie turns 36!

it’s true natalie will be 36 on friday and so to celebrate we’ll do PORTMANIA!

I know that the page has some bugs so some people will just have a blank page. But that should be worked out soon so I’ll just assume you can see me!!

Last year I tried to convince everyone to elect Natalie President. That didn’t happen. so this year won’t be so elaborate. I’ll give you the results to the Charlie Awards!!

and that’s it? yeah. that’s kind of it. What? you’re not happy with that?! we’re all on a slow ride to hell anyway. what can you do?

sorry to get you down. It’s PORTMANIA. Which is a time to celebrate! we all have to give up meat for a week but i think we can still eat fish sticks, right? is that how it works? i hope so cause i’m eating fish sticks RIGHT NOW!!!

ok that’ll be it for today. TOMORROW the first results to the Charlie Awards and MORE SURPRISES. (surprises usually turn out to be me forgetting my pants.)

PORTMANIA is here to STAY!!

Charlie Awards – Best Editorial Photo

By | Site-news, Uncategorized

 
It’s a bit later this year, in part due to wanting the awards season drama to end, but mostly due to laziness. Nevertheless, the annual Charlie Awards are where Natalie’s fans get to vote on the year in Natland.

We’re starting off with Best Editorial Photo. As always, please click the thumbnails to take in the full picture before casting your vote.

Best Editorial Photo

    Total Voters: 288

    Loading ... Loading ...

    Sunday Tidbits

    By | Nat-news, Uncategorized

     
    Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! To celebrate, here’s a round of “sunday tidbits” for all you guys.

    -The big news of the week was undoubtedly Natalie incorporating the cast of the latest film by Xavier Dolan. Delving a bit on the news, we have a brief statement of the Director concerning it:

    “From ‘Crash’ to ‘Closer’, Besson’s ‘Professional’, ‘About a Boy’, ‘Skins’ and more recently ‘Mad Max: Fury Road’, Natalie, Thandie and Nicholas have always inspired me, and helped define what I like and find exciting in acting, so there is an almost karmic peculiarity to knowing I’ll be working with them next.”

    “They’re completing a list of talents whom I believe are very rare, and even rarer together. I’m excited to tell this story with them. Never has a film been so important to me, especially because its subject, diversity and identity in film, has never felt so real, and dire”

    It is still uncertain when they start filming; Some reports speak of this spring, and others of a shooting along this year. In between, we remember that Natalie also will shoot “Annihilation”, with Alex Garland.

    -Meanwhile, Natalie will finish filming Jackie soon. According to Juan de Dios Larrain, brother of Pablo and co-producer of the movie, they will begin a second phase of filming in March, this time on location in USA

    -In another vein, and talking about past releases, There are a couple of new cool stuff about “Knight of Cups”…

    A new (and great) still of the movie:

    Foto 14-2-16 10 15 37

    … and this short video of KoC Berlin Premiere, recorded inside the theatre, which is really nice:

    -Finally, it seems that Jane Got a Gun, the last release of the actress, has at least one passionate fan … Stephen King:

    Brief introduction…

    By | Site-news, Uncategorized

     
    Hi guys. I am Belerofonte. Many of you know me from my participations in the forum.

    Here begins a new period in my journey within the site. From now on I will take care to keep you abreast of important news as they occur throughout the week about Natalie. A small extension of what I do in the forum at this time.

    Do not expect long speeches, just good and timely information about what is happening in Natland.

    After years of little movement, it begins an interesting time in the career of Natalie, and we will try to be there to report everything that goes happening …

    Greetings to everyone 🙂

    DAZZA’S NOTE – I’ve been trying to get Belero to do updates for years. So glad he finally agreed to give it a go and it will allow us to get important Natalie news up much quicker. He’s basically been the 4th Beatle for the last few years anyway.

    Tidbits

    By | Nat-news, Uncategorized

     
    It’s time for a new batch of mini news items, starting with some casting news for one of Natalie’s upcoming films…

    – First some big news, Jennifer Jason Leigh looks to be joining the cast of Alex Garland’s Annihilation. After being beaten up by every man in The Hateful Eight, maybe she’s looking forward to this all female sci-fi film.

    – Here is another new clip from Jane Got A Gun and once again…it’s pretty good.

    – Speaking of Jane, here are a couple interesting video interviews with her co-stars. Joel Edgerton talks for over half an hour and gives good background info on the production. Strangely, he never mentions Natalie (or if he did I missed it). Then there’s a shorter video interview with Ewan Mcgregor from Jimmy Kimmel.

    JGAG Tidbits

    By | Uncategorized

     
    There is tons of Jane Got A Gun related news, which we’ll be trying to catch up with for days, so here is another collection of news items.

    Box Office Mojo indicates that the theatre count plans have essentially doubled for this weekend from 550 theatres to 1,210 offerings.

    Weinstein originally estimated it would only be arriving in 550 theaters, but that count rose to 1,210 theaters today making it a little more possible it could find a spot in the top ten, but it has a tough road ahead of it.

    Not only did it have a troubled production, but the marketing campaign appears to be almost non-existent. A target figure for the weekend would seem to be $3 million, but the fact this is a Western with little juice behind it doesn’t seem to be working in its favor.

    – A positive JGAG review has emerged from Screen Daily, which has an interesting take on the feminism of the film.

    Portman’s Jane is strong and self-sufficient with a lucid take on survival — she’s not afraid to help herself and she knows when she requires help from others. Some very bad things have happened to her but she’s nobody’s punching bag. And not unlike Charlize Theron in Mad Max: Fury Road, one might be tempted to think that Portman is just too much of a natural beauty for this role, but any such objection quickly subsides.

    – That feminist take is completely contradicted by a piece that calls the film “unbelievably sexist”

    The past year was a great one for women on the big screen. We had Mad Max: Fury Road, Spy, Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation, Star Wars: Episode VII — The Force Awakens — movies that championed tough, smart, independent female characters.

    And now, kicking off 2016 is Jane Got a Gun, a movie that runs screaming in the opposite direction.