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portmania

PORTMANIA 6981

By | Site-news

day 4 of PORTMANIA is June 9th! the last Day of PORTMANIA 19 which is, of course, NATALIE’S BIRTHDAY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NATALIE PORTMAN! Birthday cake for EVERYONE!

Today she turns 36. this is a cause of celebration around the world!!!! And what better way to celebrate than with the final four categories of the Charlie Awards?

first up in Best Video is… Natalie playing Password with JJ Abrams and Neil Diamond! and one of the Higgins Boys.

The second and third category is the Best and Worst News of the Year! The Best News was Natalie being Pregnant with her Second Child!

The Worst News is Natalie not appearing in Thor: Ragnarok

and the last category was rating the year 2016 which you guys rated at a 4 out of 5! hooray!

alright! now what? now a Natalie Portman FACT!

Natalie FACT: (warning Natalie FACTS are coarse and rough and irritating and they get everywhere) Natalie once ate an entire bag of jellybeans just to prove a point! Not a soul knows what that point was. it might have had something to do with Jellybean Jones but, again,

no one knows for sure.

and so ends another PORTMANIA. every year is a good year when Natalie Portman is around but this year was the best year ever because there is now TWO NatKids!! i’m sure that will be reflected at the next Charlie Awards. Thanks to Dazza for keeping the site going all the time and thanks to YOU, the viewer for wanting to know more about Natalie. Next year will also be PORTMANIA #20! so start saving up now because it’s an anniversary year and i’m going to have lots of merchandise to sell. maybe i’ll jar some pickles! until then, my friends…

PORTMANIA I’LL MISS YOU!

PORTMANIA is painless

By | Site-news, Uncategorized

DAY Three of PORTMANIA!

Let’s do the Charlie Awards first!

The first Category for today is Best Wallpaper and the winner is from Celina!

EXTRAORDINARY, Celina! you must be a professional! AND you can schedule for last December!

the next category is for the BEST DRAWING and it’s a big win for Andrew and his drawing…

EXCELLENT, Andrew! You must be an artist!

and that’s the only two for today! More Tomorrow of course!!!

now let’s talk about a common problem among people of the world currently…

So you really want to PORTMANIA but your dad says “No.” what should you do?

HOW TO CONVINCE YOUR DAD TO PORTMANIA

Step 1: show him Natalie Portman Movies. There’s like 30 of them. Start with The Professional. This will help him realize that she is the BEST ACTRESS EVER.

Step 2: Show him the various Natalie Portman interviews from the many years of her being a celebrity. This will help him realize that she is the BEST PERSON EVER!!

Step 3: Sing him a PORTMANIA song. you can do this by making one up or by singing one of the many official PORTMANIA songs. there are no official PORTMANIA SONGS.

Step 4: Put a cow in his bathroom. This will show him that all animals are equals and they have a right to be everywhere you as a human being are allowed.

Step 5: Show him NataliePortman.Com This will show him many people agree with your philosophies and he’s an idiot for not agreeing.

Step 6: Remove the cow from the bathroom. You’re dad is going to be really upset with this. and he has a right to be. i was way off on the “cows are human beings” thing.

Follow these simple steps and your Father will lose all respect for you! that’s what we were going for right?

now we can all get on with our days. let’s make this a good day by smiling and laughing at everyone you see! pointing is encouraged. Tomorrow will be the final FOUR categories of the Charlie Awards and NATALIE’S 36TH BIRTHDAY. let’s prepare for something amazing!!

PORTMANIA is the one that you want!!

PORTMANIA you got loose and I threw up

By | Site-news

DAY 2 of the 19th PORTMANIA is now and so….

let’s start with a plug for the Natalie Portman Wakelet! it’s a collection of all the videos of all the things Natalie Portman has done for a long time. I haven’t had a chance to update it for a little while but it’s pretty good. go ahead and look around there and SIGN UP! and if you see anything missing in there let me know. i’ll try to add it.

NOW let’s get on with the PORTMANIA!!!

you’ve been waiting patiently for the charlie awards and so here they ARE!

The first category in the Charlie AWARDS is Best Editorial Photo! and the winner is…

MOST DESERVING! The voting was pretty even in this category but this still won comfortably.

the next category is Best Public Appearance and this one had a much clearer winner.

and the Charlie Goes to…

The 73rd Venice Film Festival Planetarium premiere!

This almost had as many votes as the other 4 contenders combined!

Next up is the BEST Advertising Photo

a surprise to be sure. but a welcome one.

and the final category for the day is Most Anticipated Upcoming Natalie Movie!!!

and the winner is………..

LA LA LAND!!!

whooooo! no surprise there!

oh wait… we got it wrong. whoops. one second… i’m so sorry about this… the actual winner is ANNIHILATION! by a landslide!

and that will be the end of PORTMANIA day 2! tomorrow more Charlies and less suckiness! i swear!

PORTMANIA will last FOREVER AND EVER!!

PORTMANIA is better than you!

By | Site-news, Uncategorized

It’s PORTMANIA 19 in 2017 that takes over 4 days when Natalie turns 36!

it’s true natalie will be 36 on friday and so to celebrate we’ll do PORTMANIA!

I know that the page has some bugs so some people will just have a blank page. But that should be worked out soon so I’ll just assume you can see me!!

Last year I tried to convince everyone to elect Natalie President. That didn’t happen. so this year won’t be so elaborate. I’ll give you the results to the Charlie Awards!!

and that’s it? yeah. that’s kind of it. What? you’re not happy with that?! we’re all on a slow ride to hell anyway. what can you do?

sorry to get you down. It’s PORTMANIA. Which is a time to celebrate! we all have to give up meat for a week but i think we can still eat fish sticks, right? is that how it works? i hope so cause i’m eating fish sticks RIGHT NOW!!!

ok that’ll be it for today. TOMORROW the first results to the Charlie Awards and MORE SURPRISES. (surprises usually turn out to be me forgetting my pants.)

PORTMANIA is here to STAY!!

Adios Portmania

By | Site-news

 
Thanks to Sanjiro for Portmania 18 and here’s to Natalie hopefully enjoying a great 35th birthday. It was a bit too late for the final day but regular contributor, Celina sent in a special Portmania message from her extended trip down under.

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PORTMANIA Birthday Party Extravaganza Forever!!

By | Site-news

DAY 5 of PORTMANIA is here!! and It’s Natalie’s Birthday! 6981.

Happy Birthday Natalie Portman!!

Portmania (2)th

ANA! came back to save the world with the above picture. she didn’t have to do it alone.

Because RACHEL returns as well!

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and together we have solved all the worlds problems and never again have to worry about anything except for long lines in public bathrooms at sporting events.

TODAY. is the never-ending party that ends in about 7 minutes and 27 seconds. we will take tests on our Natalie knowledge. find out Facts that we don’t know and Recycling!!
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The Art of PORTMANIA

By | Site-news

LET’S GET IT ON.

Welcome, Portmaniacs!! DAY 4 of PORTMANIA is now. and it’s wonderful!

I have articles and lists and INTERVIEWS with husbands!

BUT FIRST. we’ll start with a PORTMANIAN wallpaper by Rachel the Gorgeous.

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but she didn’t stop there, cause she never does, Rachel is the baddest badass that there ever was.

so here’s NUMBER 2.

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WHAT ELSE CAN THERE BE?!
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something, something, PORTMANIA

By | Site-news

it’s Day 3 of PORTMANIA! and today we’ll talk about ninja turtles and WOMAN POWER!

BUT FIRST! the wonderful Ana comes in with a sensational PORTMANIA wallpaper about GETTING GUNS.

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Thank you ANA! it wouldn’t be PORTMANIA without you.

now on to ninja turtles, female empowerment symbols, Iranian Natalie Portmans and MORE!!!

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Try PORTMANIA

By | Site-news

DAY 2 of PORTMANIA 18 is ready to go. and i’m sure most of you don’t care either way!

so let’s start it all off with this wonderful PORTMANIA magazine cover for June 2016!

BY RACHEL.

 

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that looks like the woman who’s ready to become the 45th president of the United States of America to me. Read More

PORTMANIA BEGINS.

By | Site-news

PART 18.

PORTMANIA starts today!! but don’t worry! It’s only five days!! we can get through this together!

This year in PORTMANIA Natalie Portman turns 35. As mentioned last year, this makes her qualified to run for president of the United States. and since PORTMANIA is 18 it can actually vote for her!

And So NataliePortman.com proudly presents:

NATALIE PORTMAN FOR PRESIDENT!!

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I thought last year maybe we should wait until the 2020 election, but I don’t think we can wait. There might not be an Earth left in 2020.

we’ll discuss more inside. AFTER The JUMP.
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Portmania – After Dark

By | Site-news

 
Portmania turns 18 this year, which means sex, drugs and voting for anyone other than Donald Trump. In other news, Natalie will be turning 35, which still blows my mind until I remember I’m 36. Where does the time go? Maybe Sanjiro can answer that when he returns on Sunday for day 1 of Portmania 18.

If you have any fanart or anything else you want to share for Natalie birthday or Portmania, be sure to send it in.

If not, that’s okay too, Sanji’s personal collection of Alf photos should be enough to get us through another Portmania.

Mathilda Drawing

By | Site-news

 
A big thanks to Sanji for bringing the Portmania fire once again. I have to take a lot of the blame for the lack of fanart. It has been a really hectic few weeks and I just wasn’t able to shake the tree to see what falls out like I usually do. With that said, I am now accepting fanart for next year’s Portmania!

Speaking of fanart, Ange sent this in for Natalie’s birthday but I saw it a bit late. It’s a really cool image and deserves some love.

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#PORTMANIA

By | Site-news

DAY 7 of PORTMANIA 17 is also JUNE 9th!

WHICH MEANS IT’S JOHNNY DEPP’S BIRTHDAY!!

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WHAT?! someone else’s birthday?!?! who could it be?!!

6981!
NATALIE F’N PORTMAN!

Portmania (3) (1)th

That’s right. ANA made a new Birthday Wallpaper for everyone to enjoy!

now Let’s get things started on this Most Sensational, Inspirational, Celebrational, NATALIETATIONAL!!

This Is What We Call PORTMANIA!

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Bros Before PORTMANIA

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DAY 6.

how do you start the day before the last day of PORTMANIA!?

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with a classy wallpaper by STEVE. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

and so it starts!

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The Other PORTMANIA

By | Site-news

Day FIVE of PORTMANIA 17 is today!

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Quesse made this wallpaper! he’s attended PORTMANIA every year. more or less. there was that one time we had to change venues to be cheaper and, like a lot of people, he skipped out that year. but anyway I can excuse his mix-up of how many PORTMANIA’S there have been. and who can blame him? there’s 17 of them for crying out loud.

but enough of that. he calls his piece “PORTMANIA Submission #1”. WHICH I hope means there’ll be a #2!! because we have nothing ELSE!!!!!

OH MY GOSH. I remember brushing my teeth this morning but I can’t remember if I flossed or not.
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My Blueberry PORTMANIA

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You’ll see a smilin’ face, a fireplace, a cozy room

DAY 4! and now the pic of the day by ANA!

Portmania (2) (2)th

yes. we do wear underwear during PORTMANIA! we’re classy that way.

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PORTMANIA’S Ghosts

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hang in there!!

Portmania (1)

it’s Day 3 of PORTMANIA! AND Ana shows up! she made the GIF. and now this PORTMANIA has officially started.

today we’ll all laugh and learn about the movie GOYA’S GHOSTS!

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but BEFORE THAT you have to click MORE.

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Free PORTMANIA

By | Site-news

 

For those who want it.

Well now it’s Day 2 of PORTMANIA 17,

yesterday we talked about …. I don’t remember what we talked about.  but nothing will prepare you for what SURPRISES await you on this FABULOUS PORTMANIA DAY! you only have to click MORE to find out!!!!!  PLEEEAAASSSEE????

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IT’S OUR PORTMANIA!!

By | Site-news, Uncategorized | 3 Comments

AND WE’LL DANCE IF WE WANT TO.kittttt

34 years in the making….PORTMANIA 17

STARTS TODAY!

and it ends next Tuesday – Natalie Portman’s BIRTHDAY!

and PORTMANIA is the week long celebration where KINDNESS, EQUALITY and RATIONALITY rule.

EVERYONE KNOWS ALL OF THAT!

but what you may not know is that thousands of Natalie Portman fans go each year without PORTMANIA. because their internet SUCKS. What can you do to help these poor people?

…. click more to find out.
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Portmania XVII

By | Site-news

 
Portmania—our annual week-long celebration of our namesake’s birthday—is quickly approaching. It would be awesome if any of you Natalie fans out there can contribute fanworks to celebrate the occasion. You can contact us with any submissions via the embarrassingly outdated staff page. Hopefully, Dazza can dig up Sanjiro, who will count us down to the 9th of June.