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PORTMANIA Is All Jacked Up.

It’s back!

PORTMANIA 24 is here and ready to go!

As you know, PORTMANIA is the yearly celebration of Natalie Portman’s birthday here on NP.com. Which is coming up on THURSDAY JUNE 9TH. It’s a time to sing, dance and eat mozzarella sticks.

Well, it’s been a year, that’s right, a whole year since last PORTMANIA.  My God, it’s June already. It’s almost Christmas!!

So, we’ve all had time to reflect and think about where we want to be in our lives the past year and how Natalie Portman fits in with those plans.  And i think the answer is obvious.  How we can enrichen our own lives as well as honor and celebrate the great Jane Grinderfall Natalie Portman…

We’ve all decided to live the most PORTMANIA of the PORTMANIAS!!! Which means teaching our  Dogs to dance the Merengue!

This guy is living the life PORTMANIA!

BUT it’s not just dogs that can enjoy PORTMANIA; but cats and chickens and cows and horses and iguanas and penguins, too!  And YOU! We’re all in this together!

It’s been 24 PORTMANIAs and Natalie always has a birthday or something in there. BUT maybe this time it’s MY BIRTHDAY!?

No. I just checked. It’s Natalie’s birthday still.

Anyway. let’s hear a Natalie Portman FACT! (WARNING! Natalie Facts are not all about you.)

In 2007 Natalie Portman was wrongly arrested and convicted for the murder of Brandon Jackson and put on death row. She escaped and went on the lam for four years making movies under the assumed name Jane Grinderfall. All the while  searching for the real killer, who she eventually found on a golf course in early 2011. An exciting chase ended with Natalie throwing golf balls at the real killer until he confessed! Completely exonerated, she was able to accept her Oscar for Best Actress in Black Swan at the Academy Awards under her real assumed name: Natalie Portman.  Who you may have heard of. She’s an actress.  Her birthday is coming up.

NOW that you remember who Jane Grinderfall Natalie Portman is, it’s time for you to get that feeling…  In your nose.

You did it!

That’s all we have for today! But tomorrow we’ll be back! Again! And tomorrow is going to be DAY 2 of PORTMANIA, so don’t worry if today was underwhelming and unsatisfactory tomorrow will be DOUBLY SO!!!

It always rolls downhill.

Simple Impartial PORTMANIA.